Courage, fear and muscles

Revisiting a few of my old books and seeing some interesting films lately, I’ve come across some ideas that complement Dr. Low’s quite well. For example, Maurice Yaffé uses some Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques in Taking the fear out of flying. He also makes an interesting distinction between courage and fearlessness. For example, if you’re willing to fly while frightened, you’re courageous–there’s no objective reason to be frightened, but the person is courageously overcoming her or his own subjective discomfort. On the other hand, someone who is not afraid while doing something that is objectively dangerous like skydiving is fearless, not courageous. A useful distinction.

In Recovery we often talk about doing things in part acts, as well as endorsing for the effort not just the results. For example, most people can get out of bed in the morning without fear–they’re fearless about it; but for some people at some times in their lives, just getting out of bed in the morning is a courageous and endorseable act. In Dr. Low’s words, “The resoluteness of the muscles overcomes the defeatist babble of the brain.” And “Muscles can be commanded to do what one fears to do.”

And although Dr. Low tells us we don’t have to be angels, saints, heroes or martyrs, I don’t think he’d disagree  with Lama Surya Das’s redefinition of heroism in Letting go of the person you used to be.”The greatest heroes are often the quiet men and women who are simply and bravely facing up to the many unexpected losses and difficulties that life has to dish up. . . . All heroes have at least one quality in common: They don’t run away from their fears. Heroes are just as afraid as the rest of us, but they have learned how to confront and walk through their terrors. Quite simply, heroes aren’t afraid of being afraid.”

In Amongst white clouds (a documentary about Zen Buddhist hermits in the mountains of China), a Cantonese nun is a hero of this type. She speaks about hardship and fear in her chosen way of life. “Everything is a trial. You can’t be afraid of hardship. The more the hardship, the more you move forward. There is this physical hardship, but the mental hardship is most important. If you see a demon, demons are your mind demons. It’s not just any demon. You don’t want to grasp hold of it. Don’t fear it, don’t hurt it, just sit and don’t move. Something happens outside. You let go of it, examine yourself. Meditate quietly. Isn’t that how it is?”

In Dr. Low’s words:

• Motionless sitting, commanding the muscles to be still. (Or moving them.)
• Doing the thing you hate and fear to do.
• Recognizing Outer Environment–which we have almost no control over, and Inner Environment, which we can control through our thoughts, muscles and beliefs.
• Self-led, not symptom-led.
• The phrase ‘I’m scared but I am going anyway’ expresses beautifully the very core of Recovery thinking…. Ignoring fears and moving muscles is the essence of courage, will and determination, which means the essence of Recovery thinking.

I’m nowhere near there yet and don’t have any plans to be a hero. My “demons” still get the better of me sometimes. But that’s average. I’ll just keep trying and failing and trying and failing–and endorsing for the effort.

Advertisement