Setback isn’t an emergency

I wrote earlier about coming to terms with my anxiety about an upcoming 15-hour flight (“Long-haul flight ahead”). After a couple of weeks of relative calm, I woke up last night in the throes of anxiety again then woke up early this morning thinking about it and working myself up.

Dr. Low says don’t ask why (it’s a form of temper and self-diagnosis): It doesn’t really matter why it started again, but I’ll just say the flight’s now about 10 days away–that’s enough of a reason for me! A news story about an overnight incident on a Continental Airlines flight didn’t help much either.

My symptoms are racing pulse/heart, throat tightness, racing thoughts, general tension, shakiness. My racing thoughts are: “Why did I ever agree to this?” (there’s that WHY again!), “I wish I wasn’t going”, “I can’t handle this”, “I’ve got so much to do to get ready, in between working and home and garden, etc.”, “What should I pack–stupid baggage allowance!” etc.

The spotting I’m doing:

1. Angry temper: At the airlines for not being able to fly around Clear Air Turbulence (CAT). At the airlines for limiting how much luggage I can take.
2. Fearful temper: Worry, preoccupation, insecurity.
3. Exceptionality. Remember that it’s average for flights to take off and land safely. Some turbulence is average too. It’s also average to have mild concern about news stories–and to take precautions like keeping one’s seatbelt fastened when seated.
4. Do the thing you hate and fear to do and the fear will vanish. Not flying very often makes this a tougher one. But it does seem that whenever I do fly and have a layover, I’m much more casual about flying–it becomes “normal” to be at an airport and get on a plane.
5. Expect the setback and don’t make an issue out of it. This is one of Dr. Low’s many wise observations. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy if we set off a vicious cycle of panicking about panicking, or getting depressed about lowered feelings.
6. What we’re afraid of is our feelings and sensations, and the fear is worse than the reality.
   I would rather injure myself than live in the fear of injuries. ~Dr. Abraham Low
   Present fears are less than horrible imaginings. ~William Shakespeare
7. Feelings and sensations rise and fall and come and go if we let them, and don’t attach danger.
8. ENDORSE! for practicing Recovery, for writing out an example, for having the courage to do something I fear, for being group-minded (agreeing to go with my husband in the first place).

Before Recovery, I would probably stay worked up much longer. I wouldn’t have been able to write out an example, let alone known to endorse for spotting. I would probably obsessively search the news–trying to reassure myself but working up my symptoms and temper even more  (OK I’ve done a bit of that but cut it out, then got out my fear of flying books from years ago to refresh my memory–a much healthier approach).

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