Highway to serenity

I know it’s silly but I have a more than 30-year-old habit of freaking out (AKA having so-called panic attacks) while driving on bridges. And freeways. Not to mention tunnels. All of which I seem to be surrounded by. Having danced with this fearful habit for most of my adult life, I know it’s not going to go away quickly–I can accept that I have to work at it.

One thing that’s very interesting is that I’ve gotten to the point where I’m often fine if I’m driving a freeway or bridge with my husband or a friend–not much else is different, although traffic could even be worse. Just goes to show it’s my beliefs that are tripping me up.

Dr. Low tells us to start learning the Recovery method on weak-link areas. I’ve been doing that for three years and have also chipped away, on and off, at my long-standing bad habit of working myself up while driving, but since my reaction feels pretty much hard-wired now (and what wouldn’t be after three decades of practice?), I’ve decided to work at it in part acts. The fearful temper reaction is stubborn; so is the habit of coddling my feelings and taking them (and my own dear self) too seriously. While I can tell myself the SYMPTOMS are distressing but not dangerous, I sabotage a bit by telling myself the SITUATION is dangerous. What if I … lose control of the car, cause an accident, hurt someone, etc. Also that it’s HARD because I can’t just practice passive relaxation (as with flying) or do it in part acts. The usual balderdash.

The highway I choose to practice on is so quiet it barely qualifies as a freeway, but since it has limited exits, it’s right up there in my mind.  So all in all a good place to start. First I pull off the road just before the street transforms into highway. I’m having my usual symptoms: Feeling of unreality, agitation, shakiness, sweaty palms, tight throat with difficulty swallowing, air hunger, difficulty concentrating. I look through my wallet for my  dog-eared “cheat sheet” of spottings for just this situation and can’t find it because of my confusion and agitation. I stop and look again and finally find it on the third try then read through it a couple of times.

So here are some of the Recovery International tools I use:

1. Do the thing you hate and fear to do and the fear will die.
2. Do things in part acts and endorse for the effort of doing each part (or, in the immortal words of Dr. Marvin in What about Bob–baby steps!)
3. Objectivity terminates a panic: Time how long symptoms last, count light standards, watch the line on the side of the road.
4. ENDORSE!
5. Trust in your basic bodily functions–I’ve been driving since I was 14, so I’d call that a basic bodily function.
6. Probabilities not possibilities.
7. Imagination on fire.
8. ENDORSE!!! for the effort, not just the results.

So I get on the freeway, saying the spottings over and over to myself, replacing insecure thoughts with secure ones–such as “the other drivers know what they’re doing”, counting light standards, and so on. I pass one exit and decide to go for the next one. Then I get off the freeway. I could’ve tried to be a hero and continue to another exit but decide that’s enough for one day. I’m not a saint or a hero! What I did do was decide, plan and act to keep working on this whenever I can. My symptoms subside within a few minutes. Every act of self-control leads to a bit more self-respect.

Thanks, Dr. Low!

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